I recently watched a video of an event called "The Triggering" which was held at UMass in Amherst. You can see the video by clicking here, but I must warn you the language is R rated. In the video, a college student is shown attempting to shout down an invited speaker for the event. When the moderator asks the student to please hold her comments until the Q&A portion of the evening she begins shouting about her right to free speech. In an act of pure irony which was completely lost on her, the young woman then begins to shout that the speaker (a conservative) and her views are not welcome on their campus. But although the video is certainly entertaining, it points to a very dangerous trend in our country today. We no longer have a clue how to have a reasonable discourse. We are incapable of disagreeing with each other in a civil manner. Facts have been replaced by feelings and arguments are rendered moot by personal attacks. If I tell someone I am a conservative they automatically brand me as a racist (never mind the fact that I am a priest in the Anglican Church of Nigeria). If they find out I am against same sex marriage I am instantly a homophobe, and when I want my daughters to be protected from predators in public restrooms I am called a bigot.
Part of the problem is that many people today are not able to separate their positions from their person. So if someone disagrees with a position that another has taken on a particular issue it is seen as an attack on them as a person. Our identities are so tied up in what we believe that we can no longer simply agree to disagree with anyone. Instead, we must destroy them before they destroy us. But it doesn't have to be like that. But how do we get back to a place where we can once again discuss issues passionately but civilly? While I certainly don't have all of the answers to that question, I think I have some good ideas of places to start.
1. Resist the urge to use social media. Platforms like Facebook and Twitter and great for posting pictures of our kids and events, sharing recipes, and keeping up with each other's accomplishments. However, it is not the place to have substantive conversations about hot button topics. It is simply too easy to be cruel when there is an electronic barrier between us. It is much more effective to discuss these issues face to face.
2. Listen to other points of view. Take time to understand where another person is coming from. Don't talk over them, but rather give them time and space to express themselves. If people feel like they are being heard they are usually much more willing to listen in return. Although neither person will probably convince the other to change their minds, at least we can understand a bit more about where the other person stands.
3. Use facts, not emotions. This is a tough one. Arguments today tend to be won by the person who is the most oppressed, and the person who cries the hardest is usually the winner. The problem is that emotional arguments are meaningless. When discussing tough issues, make sure you use concrete facts, and make sure you have your facts right. Just because you saw it on the Internet or heard it on TV doesn't necessarily mean that it is true.
4. Hate the sin but love the sinner. As Christians we need to assure people that just because we disagree with what they do or what they believe it does not mean we hate them as a person. In all things we need to not only stand firmly on Christian principles, but we need to do it with love. We may not win hearts with emotional outbursts. We may not win hearts with statistics or arguments. But we will win hearts with our love.
1. Resist the urge to use social media. Platforms like Facebook and Twitter and great for posting pictures of our kids and events, sharing recipes, and keeping up with each other's accomplishments. However, it is not the place to have substantive conversations about hot button topics. It is simply too easy to be cruel when there is an electronic barrier between us. It is much more effective to discuss these issues face to face.
2. Listen to other points of view. Take time to understand where another person is coming from. Don't talk over them, but rather give them time and space to express themselves. If people feel like they are being heard they are usually much more willing to listen in return. Although neither person will probably convince the other to change their minds, at least we can understand a bit more about where the other person stands.
3. Use facts, not emotions. This is a tough one. Arguments today tend to be won by the person who is the most oppressed, and the person who cries the hardest is usually the winner. The problem is that emotional arguments are meaningless. When discussing tough issues, make sure you use concrete facts, and make sure you have your facts right. Just because you saw it on the Internet or heard it on TV doesn't necessarily mean that it is true.
4. Hate the sin but love the sinner. As Christians we need to assure people that just because we disagree with what they do or what they believe it does not mean we hate them as a person. In all things we need to not only stand firmly on Christian principles, but we need to do it with love. We may not win hearts with emotional outbursts. We may not win hearts with statistics or arguments. But we will win hearts with our love.
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